One can only frequent Costco, Target, PetSmart, HomeDepot and, yes, even Wal-Mart when desperate, so many times. I have been that mom just eager to get out of my own air-conditioned house to drive a few miles to another air-conditioned destination simply for a change of scenery. Quite often, though, there's no purpose. There's nothing we need and so we wander aimlessly. There's nothing inherently wrong with this, but again there's no purpose to what we're doing and more likely than not I'm still frustrated because now I'm somewhere else where the girls have to be reminded not to touch, to keep their hands to themselves, not to run, not to ask to buy things, etc., etc. It's really a waste of time and there's no time to waste. My time with these girls is precious. In a matter of a couple years they will both be in school full-time. I won't have these little years again.
I've been convicted recently to be a mom of greater purpose. I don't want my girls to one day have flashbacks of red shopping carts and bull's eyes. I want more out of the day-to-day, the ordinary. Whether it's making play-doh, coloring, jumping in the bounce house, baking, or reading...I desire more. The how is the hard part. I feel inadequate to do the "building" of the foundation for these little people I'm raising.
Oh, how He is so good to me. So loving. So kind. He spoke to me today as I was listening to a sermon by John Piper on Psalm 127:1-2.
Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it;
Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain.
It is vain for you to rise up early, to retire late, to eat the bread of painful labors;
For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.I can desire to build, and build and build. I can desire purpose for what I do, but if I'm not allowing the Lord to do the building then it's all for naught. So this morning I prayed that God would go before me and help me to hand the building over to Him. I had peace. Removed was the burden of trying to figure it all out.
This afternoon, I did something that is very commonplace in our home. I read the girls a story. Not a new story. Not even a Christian story. Nothing special. But there was something different in my reading today. I was overwhelmed with peace. Peace because I knew that I was right where I needed to be. Peace because I knew that I had handed the details over to God and really, true felt as though I was doing exactly what I've been called to do. To be a mom. To love my girls. To be there in that moment with them and no where else. I was not laboring in vain. The time was savored and not wasted. Thank you, Jesus.