Sunday, May 11, 2014

To my girls at home

My dear Charlee and Andee,

Today is Mother's Day.  Today, I want you to know how thankful I am to be your Mommy.  We are half a world away from each other right now and I hate that.  I can't tell you how much I hate that.  Not because it's bad where I am, but because I want to be with you.  I want the two of you by my side.  I don't know how not to be a mom to all my children at the same time.  Kate and Max are with me now and it's good.  I am thankful to call them my children now as well, but there's nothing I want more right now than to have our family together under one roof.

Thank you for teaching me (although I'm not done learning) how to be a mom.  Thank you, that because of the two of you, my heart could be open to loving more children.  Thank you that you have allowed me to go, to be here, to leave you for such a very long time all in the name of bringing home a new brother and sister.  I realize that you didn't exactly get much say in the matter, but your love is what allowed me to go and has allowed me to stay.  Your love for your sister and your brother who you've still not met.  You girls have hearts that have been greatly enlarged by this process, by the journey God has taken our family on over the last year.  You have an understanding that love truly is more than blood.  Love is sacrifice, it is patience, it is endurance, it is faithfulness, it is loyalty, it is fulfilling kept promises.  You, even at your young ages, understand this more than some adults.  You knew early on that Daddy and I committed to doing whatever it would take to bring Kate home to be your sister.  None of us expected to bring you home a brother, but I have a feeling once you meet him you're going to be really happy you have one.

Charlee and Andee, you bless me.  Before I became a mom I think I anticipated being a blessing to my children, but now that I am a mom I realize that so much of this motherhood thing is about how you cause me to change.  You bless me.  You teach me.  You cause me to examine my own heart.  You offer forgiveness.  You correct.  You challenge.  You encourage.  You love.  You are only six and four years old, but you, my sweet girls, have great influence in my life.

In just a few days I will be bringing home Kate and Max.  Our family will change.  We will grow more.  We will learn a new normal.  We will sacrifice.  We will be challenged.  We will do this all together because we are family and that is what we are called to do.  Thank you, girls, for your love.  I wouldn't be the mom I am and see the world the way I do if it weren't for you two who changed my name to Mommy.


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