Monday, March 17, 2014

In the waiting

In between all the hurrying up that happens during the adoption process, there is a lot of waiting.

Waiting...
     ...on fingerprint approval.
     ...or the juvenile courts to approve the home study.
     ...for USCIS clearance.
     ...on documents to be notarized and apostilled.
     ...on email/phone call responses.
     ...on DHL to deliver the dossier to Ukraine.
     ...on dossier translation.
     ...to hear of dossier registration.
     ...to receive travel dates.
     ...to have documents submitted in preparation for a court date.

This reflects only a small portion of the waiting.  Most of this waiting occurred while we were still home.  Home where we have normalcy, lives built around family and friendships, a job for Adam, caring for Charlee and Andee, errands to run, meals to cook, laundry to wash.

Here we have a new waiting.  Adam still spends time doing a bit of work so that he has a job to return to when we get home.  But for me, there's nothing.  I'm not complaining for sure, but this is just plain strange.  There are no little people running around who need me.  There is little laundry to do considering the fact that we each only have 3 shirts and 3 pairs of pants.  There are few dishes to wash.  There's only maybe 600 square feet of space to sweep.  I don't feel entirely comfortable yet venturing out alone, though that could change here real soon.  We have been instructed not to go out after dark, however we already broke that rule during an emergency when we discovered we purchased kefir instead of milk and I almost poured it in my coffee one evening.

This waiting is really hard for me.  I'm not in a place where I can busy myself without time to count the hours and days.  Here I look at the clock and when only 20 minutes have passed I'm disappointed.

But it is good...I think.  I'm seeing some good, but I have to be honest I'm still looking for more.  It's a challenge for certain, but I know the Lord has something to teach me in it and I might even have an idea of what it is.  It is a reminder to be content in all circumstances.  It's a reminder to rest...to be still (and content with that stillness) and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10).

It just feels so strange after all the craziness of paperwork, etc. to be in the place where I am now...to sit and wonder what to do next.  I cannot remember the last time I had the time to wonder what to do!

I guess the irony of it, too, is that we thought it would be more difficult to pass three hours with our kids in a small space in the orphanage, but the challenge has been quite the opposite.  It's been to figure out what to do in the other 21 hours of our day.

There's also too much time to try all the pastries we've discovered!

Yum!

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